Zombie Science

No, I don’t think we should reanimate long dead science fields like alchemy. I’m talking about the science behind zombies. Specifically the scientific explanations given for the existence of zombie’s in pop culture.

Now, your typical zombie is an undead creature that can’t be killed unless you shoot them in the head or hack them to pieces. They’ll keep coming at you regardless of other injuries. They spawn new zombies by biting living humans and infecting them. The humans than turn into zombies either by dying or just slowly change.

For horror movies and video games, zombies are perfect. There are hordes of them and you need to go crazy with any weapon available to eliminate them. The idea of your friends and family changing into a horrible monster and being forced to kill them is dark and tragic. There is no disputing the appeal of zombies for story telling.

But when you try an explain the zombie outbreak, things start to fall apart. Science and common sense get in the way. In no zombie scenario I’ve seen (and I’m no expert) is the transformation instantaneous. You get bit and then it takes awhile. So I have a hard time understanding how you go from 1 zombie vs 7 billion humans to millions of zombies vs four stalwart heroes.

First infection, sure that comes as a surprise. Guy rises from the dead and starts biting people. Those people who are bit are going to receive medical attention. Maybe it takes a few groups rising before people catch on. But an individual zombie isn’t very dangerous. It’s the zombie horde that is the real problem. And I have a hard time seeing a single zombie creating a horde.

There’s also the little issue of the undead, unkillable monster. Sure, they have no feelings so wounds won’t bother them. At first. But they are still controlled by basic biology. To move, their legs need to work together, necessitating some brain activity. They’re muscles need to work, which requires fuel, oxygen and food. That requires blood flow. So a zombie who bleeds out shouldn’t be able to function.

Now, none of this really matters to a good zombie apocalypse story. You just accept that it has happened and deal with the consequences. But when people try and explain it, they then have to answer these questions and never do a very good job.