Conspiracy Theory Time
I had a thought the other day that is completely in the conspiracy theory camp. There’s no evidence for it and it assumes far too many strings pulled by far too few maniacal geniuses. But it amused me and thought it at least had potential as the plot to a political thriller novel. It is categorically ridiculous. You’ve been warned.
So picture this. It’s the 1970’s. You’re the KGB and it’s your job to destroy America. Suddenly Roe v Wade happens and agitates a portion of the religious population. Then Nixon resigns from the presidency in an unprecedented scandal. Faith in the American government is shaken. You see a golden opportunity.
Moving in the shadows you begin pulling together the religious factions and the limited government factions. Two groups that really shouldn’t be working together. The religious groups want the government to pass laws that support their religion. The libertarians want as few government laws as possible. But suddenly both are agitated at the same time and your agents put them together.
Now, the new allies begin making gains in elections, using their moral outrage from the religious groups to implement their policies. You begin chipping away at the American government a piece at a time. Unfortunately for you, the USSR collapses while your plan is still in motion. No worries, your goal is the destruction of America so it doesn’t matter if you work for the KGB or FSB or whatever.
To further empower your movement, you team up with ALEC. Now you have business leaders writing legislation for the government that is supposed to be regulating them. You convince the American people that regulation is bad. That greed is good.
Then you turn to education. You tell everyone America’s schools are terrible. The best way to fix this is to test everyone all the time. Schools start focusing exclusively on the mandated tests. Education naturally gets worse. Now no one trusts the public schools.
Another golden opportunity presents itself. Terrorists attack the US on September 11th. (or you orchestrate that if you want an even more ridiculous conspiracy theory). Now American is ready for war. One thing that helped bring about the collapse of the USSR was overspending and getting bogged down fighting in Afghanistan. Time to turn the table.
You use your agents to push America to go full-on crazy. Wars across the world. Curtailing civil liberties at home. Fear is on the rise.
Then the economy collapses thanks to thirty years of deregulation. But Americans starts to respond. Occupy Wall Street and the Tea Party develop out of an understanding that something needs to change. Fortunately, your agents are able to subvert the Tea Party by rolling them into your anti-government business group. And you’re able to undermine OWS by keeping them from getting organized.
You start testing the waters. You take over part of Ukraine. America doesn’t stop you. But it ‘s clear you can’t go much further before it will respond. You still have some more work to do.
2016 rolls around. American no longer trusts government because you’ve been helping elect people who do things to actively make government worse. Now is the time to unleash your ultimate weapon. Donald Trump. You’ve been grooming him for years. Gaining influence over him and setting him up as a household name with his TV show.
You use your agents to undermine the one person, Bernie Sanders, who has a chance to defeat your chosen leader. Now faith in American is even more shattered because people can’t trust the only other political party. You’ve gerrymandered legislative districts and election laws so that no other party can ever have a chance of winning an election.
Your trump card (haha see what I did there? oh I’m terrible) wins! Now you can finally bring about 40 years worth of effort. Trump nominates cabinet secretaries who each want to destroy the organizations they will lead. Trump begins stating that the election was rigged, undermining faith in the whole electoral system.
Congratulations! You’ve done it. You’ve used the capitalist pigs to destroy themselves. Now it’s time for world domination!
Crazy? Yes. Overblown and impractical? Yes. Completely implausible? Umm…..
